|
9-29-04,
9:58 AM
I admire
you as a policeman, particularly
your adherence to violence as a
necessary adjunct to the job.
Music:
MC Chris - Fett's Vette
I'll
start off by saying I have no strip
for you guys today, sorry. I could
post one of the shitty ones I made
early on, but it wouldn't be fair.
Quote from L.A. Confidential,
which I watched again today, one of
the best films ever made. Nominated
for Best Picture the year it was
released, but it was up against
Titanic and we all remember how
that went. I had high hopes for
director Curtis Hanson... Then he
made 8 Mile. Based on the
James Ellroy novel of the same name,
he's a writer who falls in line with
Elmore Leonard in that you really
have to try to screw up a film
adaptation of one of their books. A film version of
another one of his novels, The
Black Dahlia, is in the works,
except it's being directed by Brian
De Palma. He's a guy who can really
try to screw things up.
So,
George Lucas supposedly confirmed
they're going ahead with a Star
Wars television series due to
hit the air by 2006, but he doesn't
want to have direct control over it.
That's too much work for the
60-year-old with only two non-Star
Wars films under his belt, I
guess. So
what's the rumor mill saying about
who he thinks should take the
reigns? Someone's saying they're
considering Kevin Smith. I wouldn't
put it past him being able to do it,
but the man doesn't think he's up to
the task of doing The Green
Hornet, much less Star Wars
I'd imagine. The article I read did
have something which made me
chuckle, a quote from Lucas
regarding allowing someone else to
take over for a different medium:
"So it's very easy to say, 'Well, OK,
that's that genre, and I'll find a
really talented person to take it
and create it.'"
Funny, taken out of context I
would've thought he was talking
about his career.
So
the release of Half-Life 2
draws nigh, with plenty of magazines
announcing they have full reviews
ready for their next issues,
including the PC Gamer due out this
week. But because of the lawsuit,
Vivendi has the option to delay the
release of the game for six months.
I don't think it's too likely for
them to do so, considering they're
sitting on a juggernaut and they
haven't had a really big hit in,
well, ever. But in case they decide
to be pricks, they have that option.
But here's where it gets
interesting. Valve announced
yesterday their plans for releasing
HL2 over Steam, and they are
as follows:
Bronze - HL2* and CS:Source.
Silver - HL2*, Counter-Strike:
Source, Half-Life 1: Source*, Day of
Defeat: Source*, Valve's back
catalog currently available on
Steam.
Gold - HL2*, Counter-Strike: Source,
Half-Life 1: Source*, Day of Defeat:
Source*, Valve's back catalog
currently available on Steam,
Complete Strategy Guide from Prima
Games, 3 different Half-Life 2
posters, Half-Life 2 hat, Half-Life
2 postcard, Half-Life 2 stickers,
Half-Life 2 Soundtrack CD, Chance to
win a trip to Valve! (1 trip offered
for every 5000 Gold packages
purchased).
*To be made available upon product's
release.
Now, you'll notice many of the
items have the * next to them
signifying you can only get them
when the game hits the shelves.
However, what you'll see is that
Counter-Strike: Source does not
have this, and will be made
available to Steam customers as
soon as possible. Regardless if
HL2 is in stores. So how many
people waiting for release will
think to themselves "You know, it
would be kind of cool to play the
new Counter-Strike while I
wait, why don't I just get it from
Steam?" Vivendi can't do a thing to
stop Valve from doing this and it's
just the sort of dirty tactic I'd
expect (and support, in this case)
from ex-Microsoft employees.
Vivendi has to cave, because this is
going to do nothing but hurt them.
Also, the game is going to ship
on six CDs, or one DVD in the case
of the Collector's Edition. To give
you some idea, Doom 3 was 3
CDs and was pretty damn long.
-K.
it's all
Juans and zeroes.
9-28-04,
12:32 AM
Is today
Jimmy Shaker day?
Music:
Modest Mouse - Float On
I
saw the commercial for their new
album and I've had that fucking song
stuck in my head all day. And I
don't like Modest Mouse.
So,
I had a good sized chunk of time
between engagements at Webster, but
I didn't feel like going home. I
decided to make the journey to the
Galleria, a place I haven't been to
in years. I discovered two things
during my visit there: No other
place has ever made me feel so poor,
and that Twentieth Century Fox
really, really wants you to see
Taxi. I don't think I can stress
that enough, because there was,
literally, a poster or a banner
advertising the upcoming remake of
the Luc Besson film that wasn't so
great to start with. It reached
bile-increasing levels when I
approached the food court, which is
given its own floor. The area is
split up into layers, with the
little food joints and the theater
lining the outer layer, the not-so
outer layer consisting of many
tables and chairs, and the inner
part containing the stairs and
escalators necessary to access this
part of the mall. I shit you not
when I say that every single table
had a miniature cardboard ad for
Taxi. Interestingly enough, this
has made me want to see Taxi
less. The trashcan also said "thank
you" when I dumped the contents of
my tray into it, but that's beside
the point.
With
still quite a lot of time left to
kill, I decided to enter the
theater, having purchased tickets to
the Julianne Moore thriller The
Forgotten. Moore plays troubled
mother Telly Paretta whose
9-year-old son was killed
a
little over a year ago. Then one day
everyone forgets that her son
existed and they all think she's
delusional!
Friends, do not take this lightly
when I say it is the worst film I've
seen all year, quite possibly the
worst I've seen this side of the
millennium. It's bad enough that the
film is suffering from an identity
crisis because it really can't
decide what it wants to be. It's
like a trainwreck of failed X-Files
plotlines, a Sixth Sense
wanna-be and a smattering of Dark
City mixed with Rosemary's
Baby. But then it's beaten
thoroughly with an idiot stick so
that each one of the explanations of
what is happening is more
incomprehensible, stupid and flimsy
than the last. They also made
sure to make the pacing horribly
uneven to make sure the audience is
completely insulted. The plot holes
in the film are so huge you could
safely land several 747s in them and
the sheer amount of loose ends could
be knitted into some sort of
cinematic bedspread. At the end,
nothing is explained. Sorry Mac,
that just doesn't fucking cut it
here, it doesn't even work when
David Lynch does it, and you're not
any different.
It really is my fault, though, for
not having done my research. I
couldn't really expect much from the
director of Money Train and
the writer of Angel Eyes. I'd
spoil it entirely, but I think I can
sum it up best with a hilarious
three-panel comic strip, and I'm not
exaggerating when I say this is
pretty much 90% of the film.
-K.
say what now?
9-27-04,
12:56 AM
Sand is
overrated. It's just tiny, little
rocks.
Music:
Lou Reed - This Magic Moment
Okay, so like any other webcomic I'm
getting to the point where I have to
explain the joke of the strip before
you read it. I viewed the new
trailer for Metal Gear Solid 3
and among other bits of sheer
insanity, there is a villain who
cries tears of blood. When I
made a post on a message board about
how crazy this is, I was treated as
if I was making a big deal of
nothing and that it's not really
that weird. Some people even
responded about how awesome that is.
This is causing serious harm to my
brain. It's also doing nothing to
curb my growing hatred of Japan.
-K.
you caused this
9-24-04,
10:58 AM
Now...
where was I?
Music:
Audioslave - Gasoline
Okay, so I was too beat after I got
home to finish up and post
yesterday's strip, so I'll do that
now and hopefully I'll have another
one ready later tonight. I wouldn't
bet on it, though, since it seems
we're having another big family
gathering here at the house and
that'll probably last most of the
day. God help me, as I've recounted
my experience on Labor Day to some,
that I don't have to deal with the
children of the family again.
Saw the new Zatoichi film,
which is why I got home so late.
Other than the bad CG blood spurts,
the crossdressing geisha man,
terrible music, ridiculously long
flashbacks and the silly, pointless
dance number at the end, it was
pretty good. Though last night was
the final showing of the film at the
Hi-Pointe and I don't think it's
going to play anywhere else locally,
so you'll probably just have to wait
until it hits DVD.
The final installment of the
Sockbaby
trilogy has finally made itself
available. I don't know how to react
to it, really.
I recently updated the What to Think
section, and it has a certain theme
you may be able to pick up on.
Interestingly enough, after I did
that I came across a post on the
Shack about the BBC producing
a brand new
Hitchhiker's Guide radio series
using as many of the same actors as
they could get ahold of. After they
play each episode a streaming
version becomes available for seven
days, allowing us across the pond to
get a chance to listen.
An
interesting
Half-Life 2 product
surfaced today, I'd get it!
Finally, I just got Star Ocean:
Till the End of Time and Hot
Shots Golf Fore!
(Now with online play), and I don't
feel like playing either of them.
And without further ado:
-K.
pterodactyl
handbag
9-22-04,
9:32 PM
Pirates?
As in "arrrgh"?
Kyle
tired. Kyle post before sleep. Kyle
sleep now.
-K.
....
9-21-04,
8:58 PM
God is
just an imaginary friend for grown
ups.
Music:
Tom Petty - The Last DJ
Wow,
the site took a much unexpected turn
towards what can vaguely be
described as "content" in the last
36 hours. I
can't explain how that happened, but
I hadn't been operating on a lot of
sleep when I wrote what I did. I
didn't expect Chicago and Geoff to
make much of an impression other
than to shame and ridicule the mild
retardate known as Shaun Reveal.
However, at least for a little
while, I'll make more.
But
first, some boring game news.
The
PC demo of
Full
Spectrum Warrior
has finally hit, giving us a
chance to try out the real-time
tactical strategy game that has been
making a lot of noise on the XBox.
It takes roughly an hour to get
through training, but it's an
addictive and unique take on the RTS
genre, as you command two squads of
soldiers through various missions in
the Middle East, making that part of
the world safe for Super Democracy®.
It is fun, though.
A stand-alone,
single-player demo of the
Call of Duty expansion pack
United Offensive has also
been released, allowing you to play
the first level of the game, putting
you in the boots of an American
private at the Battle of the Bulge.
I've already had a chance to play
through the entire single-player
campaign and apart from the Russian
side, it's very original and fun,
with some huge battles and great set
pieces. The level in the bomber is
incredible. On the multiplayer side,
it's incredibly fun, the tanks and
jeeps add a great new edge to a game
that was already addictive enough.
The new maps are huge so there's
enough room for the vehicles to get
around, but there are still plenty
of buildings (many with Bazookas and
Panzerschreks) for infantry to pop
out of and take on a tank. For as
much variety all the mods of
Unreal Tournament 2004 have, I
can easily see this now dominating,
say, an upcoming LAN party.
The latest from Valve, who is hard
at work at a game which may slip
under the radar, Half-Life 2,
is that they've presented publisher
Vivendi Universal with their first
release candidate about a week ago.
The game will go through, most
likely, a couple weeks of testing
and bug locating before it finally
goes gold. The ball's in Vivendi's
court, because now it's their choice
to either give it back to Valve to
do more work or release it.
Speaking of courts, also from Valve is the latest news
in an on-going lawsuit between them
and Vivendi, originally
filed against Sierra Studios, which Vivendi
bought up not so long ago. Valve
originally sued Sierra
because the publisher put Valve
games in Internet cafes in the US
and around the world, which Valve
alleges is a copyright infringement.
Vivendi later counter-sued, saying
Valve had made misleading statements
to them about their online
distribution plans (i.e. Steam).
Vivendi also wants Valve to honor a
previous agreement and publish
whatever Valve is going to work on
next, and they would like to be
awarded ownership of the
Half-Life franchise as well. I
can see why Steam would frighten a
publisher, because that would render
them useless and keep them from
making even more money they don't
deserve. Various motions will be
made in court this October, but an
actual trial won't take place until
March. At the very least Valve needs
to fight to keep the rights to
Half-Life, otherwise it's more
than likely they'll stop working on
the series, and soon we'd probably
be seeing shit like Half-Life
Soccer.
Finally,
a demo of a
game called
Doom 3
has been released. I really don't
see much of a future for the company
that made it.
And now for something completely
different:
-K.
make him
burnie cry hurt
9-20-04,
10:58 AM
The fate
of the planet is in the hands of a
bunch of retards I wouldn't trust
with a potato gun.
Music:
New Order - Slow Jam
Part
of my desire to get into the film
industry would be to experience what
it's like to have a fanbase. That
sure sounds vain, and it is, but if
I could be immortalized in any way,
that'd be nice (in a good way, mind
you, though I can all too readily
imagine that my name could fall
under the title "first man to
swallow lava lamp"). So many artists
live and die by the loyalty, energy,
and size of their following, so
establishing one is of the utmost
importance. At the risk of sounding
like a bad PSA on technology from
the early 90's, the internet has
proved to be a great medium for
those who would otherwise go
unnoticed, making that vital piece
of artistic survival that much
easier to attain. But, in order to
get a fanbase you've got to bring
something to the table, right?
It's a topic that fascinates me,
especially since in just a couple
years I'm really going to have to
get my shit together if I intend to
have a future in my chosen field, so
I've been doing my research. So what
exactly does it take to garner an
avid following? As I've come to
learn,
not a
hell of
a whole lot.
I've
explained my opinion of Maddox
before, but just in case you missed
it: There is a difference between
being witty and just being a whiny
prick.
The other two sites are, obviously,
part of the ever-growing phenomenon
known as the webcomic. My experience
has led me to believe that the
proportion of webcomics to humans is
approximately ten-to-one and that
99% of them have the entertainment
equivalent of Gallagher, Sinbad, and
a two-week trip to North Dakota
combined. Thankfully many of them
die quick and relatively uneventful
deaths, however, for inexplicable
reasons the really, really terrible
ones manage to not only stay alive
but grow into sheer towering beasts
of annoyance and have the same
effect on your brain as spraying
yourself in the eyes with a thick
stream of hot ranch dressing. What
keeps these oozing sores on the face
of creativity afloat? Fans.
Okay, so I take back the
"inexplicable reason" part of how
horrible webcomics stay alive, but
there is an inexplicable reason on
why people willingly subject
themselves to such extreme mental
harm and then support the
creator in a way that is no less
than hero worship.
I used to really hate "Diesel
Sweeties," because next to MadTV
it is the most consistently
unfunny piece of media known to
mankind. However, after spending
time with the other comic, which
will become the subject of most of
this rant, I've started to think I'm
too harsh on it. Unlike this other
comic, at least you know that there
is a joke to be found in every strip
of "Diesel Sweeties," it just isn't
funny. Some might just enjoy the art
style, I can even see why some
people might find it funny, probably
the same people who gave Carrot Top
and Pauly Shore their level of fame.
So they have fans and I can
understand that, no matter how much
of an injustice it is to truly
talented people.
But this other comic, "Boston and
Shaun," which I became aware of
through SomethingAwful and has
already done a good job of exposing
what is so painfully wrong about it,
is so completely inane and
incomprehensible it defies
description. After reading a few of
the strips, made in the traditional
three-panel set up, none of the
panels in any given strip seem to
have any relation or connection with
anything else in the strip or the
comic as a whole. It certainly seems
like the author is trying to present
some sort of narrative and/or humor,
but I'm sure it would take several
months, millions of dollars in
funding and a team of the twelve
most brilliant psychoanalysts in the
world (Known as the DodecaDocs) to
fully explain what the hell is going
on. After the first fifty strips I
had to leave the room, sit in the
corner, and squeeze my head as hard
as I could in the hopes that the
images I had witnessed would escape
and never return. This definitely
isn't the kind of wackiness and
absurdity of the massively
entertaining, Monty Python variety.
My brain was sending signals to my
teeth, trying to get them to turn
around and attack my cranium, forcing my
body into an unwilling suicide
because it couldn't begin to process
how someone could reach this level
of incomprehensibility without being
completely retarded. This event
transpired after I had posed myself
with a question: How can someone
over the age of five create this
comic and still use a computer
without attempting to eat the
keyboard, or break open the monitor
hoping he could free the imprisoned
characters within?
I implore you, not only as a friend
but as a protector of humanity, not
to actually go and read any of the
strips. But if you can't just take
my word for it you may have to risk
psychological harm in order to
understand what has me so very
confused and angered, because, tying
it to the point of the rant, this
comic has fans. Fans who have
read each strip and constantly check
the site for updates. Fans who post
in the forums and encourage the
creator to continue his work. True,
many of the fans belong to the
social anomaly known as "furries,"
and I could probably dedicate a
whole new site just on attempting to
explain what they're all about. But,
still, why would anyone, regardless
of certain tastes, support this?
They're furries, not masochists,
after all.
I've got nothing against furries,
mind you, I hold a similar attitude
to them as I do to homosexuals:
Whatever people need to do to get
off, more power to 'em, I'd just
rather not see two dudes go at it.
But I digress.
It just seems like you don't need
much talent or have to put much
effort into your work in order to
gain admiration. In case my theory
that droves of adoring fans come
with a domain name package is
incorrect and that they actually
look at what they're choosing to
devote valuable time and attention
to, I've decided to join the fray.
That's right, I'm proud of present
my very first webcomic strip,
following in the steps of the great
Shaun Reveal and his masterpiece, in
the hopes that there will be a
sudden influx of soulless husks that
will revel in my brilliance.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...
"Chicago and Geoff"!
It's
only a matter of time before I start
working out merchandising deals. So
be sure to drop me a line and
pre-order your t-shirts and plush
dolls.
-K.
yes quite
9-17-04,
5:29 AM
Yeah,
okay, this is about the most awful
thing I've ever seen.
Music:
Raymond Scott - Powerhouse
Okay, I'm thinking there won't be
very many more of them, but I'd
really like to make this one into a
poster or a t-shirt. Big super
thanks to Lacey for helping me out
with it.
I
mean, who wouldn't want to wear that
or have it hang on a wall?
For
those unfamiliar with the original
image, the MAD logo used to be a
swastika. It isn't so much an attack
on the magazine as it is on the
show, but the words "MadTV" just
didn't look as good. Though I
imagine while it was funny when we
were all in the third grade it may
have lost its effect now that most
of us are careening towards 20. But
while I haven't picked up an issue
in quite some time, I do know that
the show is consistently the most
unfunny thing on television that's
still being produced (The award for
the most unfunny show that is no
longer in production goes to
Sports Night). In a recent
interview with the cast as part of
Entertainment Weekly's Fall TV
preview, one of them was quoted as
saying, "Some people just don't like
us."
I couldn't agree more.
If
you couldn't tell I'm just filling
up space for the most part because I
don't want to downsize that image.
So, what else? After almost a decade
I've finally gotten around to
playing Secret of Mana and
maybe it gets better later but I'm
sure it was designed by mentally
retarded Japanese children, after my
entire party was slain by a pair of
chairs and then later by a trio of
fish. I'll probably stick with it,
because it can't do anything except
get better.
In
other news, we may very well end up
going back to Call of Duty
for Holiday Holocaust 2K4
now that the expansion, United
Offensive, has been released.
Apart from the 15 or so new
single-player maps, they've added
new weapons, 11 new multiplayer maps
with three new modes, and, what has
me excited, multiplayer vehicles.
I
hope you all have bigger hard drives
than I do.
-K.
winky, go for winky
9-16-04,
6:32 AM
It only
took me one night to realize if
brains were dynamite you couldn't
blow your nose.
Music:
Primitive Radio Gods - Standing
Outside a Broken Phone Booth With
Money in My Hand
Alright, so I made more. Maybe if I
get my hands on Photoshop there will
be even more.
Chicken Broth
Well, Hey,
They Love That Crap After All
The American
Way
Freakin'
Hitler Head
Give Him a
Lift
Implements of
Destruction
There are more I want to do and
you'd be surprised what a ridiculous
amount of time it takes me to make
them, especially with Paint. I know
some of them might be considered
offensive and if you are indeed
offended you're probably not my
friend anyway.
-K.
let 'em have
it!
9-13-04,
4:10 AM
Sworn in
by a fool and vouched for by a
scoundrel. I'm a lawyer at last.
Music:
Groove Armada - Hands of Time
So
in yet another instance where I
channel my energy into something
that would be better left set aside
in favor of, say, homework, I
created a pair of ads for Holiday
Holocaust 2K4. I know it's quite a
way off, but I'm really, really
bored. In case the masterful editing
job fools you, these are really
manipulated versions of classic
propaganda posters hilariously
converted to promote a LAN party. I
really don't think I overdid it with
the exclamation marks at all. (In
case you're wondering, that black
box in the picture in the right
wasn't added by me, it did actually
contain original text at one point.)
Anyway, it seems like Blake is
getting to stick around for the time
being, thanks to a lengthy
intervention by our mother. By the
end of the day it's almost like
nothing has changed, though I'm sure
he's still not talking to my father.
I heard him say he's been putting
money into a trust fund along with a
couple of his friends so he has
enough money to finally move out. He
expects this change to take effect
in two years. He'll be 26 by
then and that's when he'd finally be
leaving home, given that he pulls
off the feat of raising the money,
which isn't bloody likely.
-K.
buy that for a dollar
9-12-04,
3:09 PM
Well, looks like my dad and my
brother had it out (and still having
it out again while I type this) and
it seems Blake is on his way out.
Any sympathy I had for him
disappeared when he tried to shift
the focus of attention on to me
during the argument because I don't
have a job. I stayed out of it and
my mom tried to act as a voice of
reason, but neither of them were
having any of that.
Ah,
my family. For some reason
'functional' isn't the first word to
spring to mind.
-K.
9-12-04,
3:49 AM
Attempted murder? It's not like he
killed someone.
Music:
Ben Harper - Homeless Child
Alright, so someday I'll get around
to doing a full review of Doom 3,
but right now I've been very
distracted since I recently picked
up Unreal Tournament 2004 and
it's probably the best $20 I've
spent in quite some time. It's a
hefty mofo as a full install comes
in around 5.5GB, and it also doesn't
help it has a vibrant and gigantic
mod community. To give you an
example of how gigantic, I've had
the game for five days now and my
UT2004 directory now weighs in at
8.5GB. Even without the mods
UT2K4 is well worth the money,
as it is a fast and furious
amalgamation of many other shooters
and shot full of steroids. The most
noticeable addition to the series
would be vehicles (You really can't
beat a buggy that has extendable
blades coming out from the sides to
cut poor pedestrians in half) and
boy are they fun, coupled with the
new frantic Onslaught mode, it's
tons of fun.
And the mods, oh the mods. There
really is something for everybody
out there, from the third-person,
cartoon-style platformer
Robin Hood &
The King's Ransom, to
the top-down perspective,
squad-based co-op shooter
Alien Swarm.
You've also got the Marble
Madness inspired puzzler
MetaBall,
the action-RPG
Call to Arms,
the post-apocalyptic
Shattered
Oasis, the obligatory
Star Wars mod
Troopers,
the very realistic and harsh
WW2-based
Red Orchestra,
the always classic
Jailbreak,
the only shooter to follow chess
rules
Checkmate,
and my favorite, the wild and
imaginative
Air Buccaneers.
And there's more.
Problem is, with so many mods out
there the community is so thinly
spread it's a huge challenge to get
a decent game going with any of
them. But still, that's a lot of
game for $20 (DVD version costs $30
at EB, got $10 knocked off from a
trade-in).
Needless to say, if all goes well,
hopefully with even more people than
last year, it may be the single game
of Holiday Holocaust 2K4.
Lastly, it's good to see The
Governator finally getting tough on
those
pressing
issues.
-K.
it doubles as a
battering ram
9-03-04,
4:02 AM
That'll
teach you to lecture me. Get me
another anger management therapist.
Music:
David Bowie - Days
So
when Blake got home today I was the
only one around and within minutes
he suddenly launched into a rage of
previously unseen energy. He began
screaming and yelling, sputtering
out sentence fragments like, "MOTHERFUCKING
COCKSUCKERS," and, "STUPID
MOTHERFUCKERS DON'T LISTEN TO ME,"
as well as my personal favorite,
"GOING TO KILL EVERYONE," punctuated
by growls, heavy breathing, and
slamming the back door as he
randomly went in and out of the
house. I remained in my room and
while I later heard him yell,
"FUCKING SENILE COCKSUCKING MORONS
MESSING WITH MY COMPUTER," which
afterwards I began to hear heavy
objects in his room collide with
other heavy objects, and I'm
guessing his fist(s) made contact
with the wall one or more times due
to the bloody tissues I found in the
bathroom after his departure
(something which has happened
previously). Though this is only a
guess; it could well have been from
an injury sustained when he managed
to tear his door from its hinges
(it was kind of loose anyway) and
hurl it across the room, breaking a
full dress mirror and leaving shards
of it strewn about the room. After
some more screaming and huffing, he
told me to thank our parents for
ruining his computer (which, upon
further inspection, yielded no
problems) and slammed doors on his
way out.
Ostensibly what caused this
explosion of anger was that he
managed to break a decorative object
that belonged to our mother that had
been sitting in the same place for
years, but I was told it was her
fault because she always puts these
things in the wrong places.
What you have to understand about
Blake is what my family regularly
fails to realize: All of his
problems are our fault. Unbeknownst
to us, all of our actions are
somehow, almost conspiratorially,
geared to impede or harm him in some
way. Whether it be a near-constant
invasion and disrespect of his
privacy (Though this is certainly a
humdinger of a catch-22 because he
doesn't really want to pay for his
own place) or asking him to repay a
debt, all we do is channel our
collective energy into restraining
him at every possible opportunity.
It may sound like I'm being
sarcastic or making a guess here but
he's told me very much the same
thing himself.
The debt issue is a pretty
interesting and almost always
constant trigger for his untamed,
idiot-fueled Hulk-power. See, my
brother owes roughly $5000 to my
mother in various large loans he's
borrowed from her. Problem is, it's
been about $5000 for quite some time
(a couple years now), despite his
giving her his weekly paycheck so
she can subtract their agreed upon
amount and put it towards the debt.
Nevertheless, when it comes to
payday my brother usually finds a
way to borrow the money he paid to
her back, and when this is
questioned by our mother it usually
leads to an argument. You see, our
feeble minds just aren't capable of
understanding that he has needs.
Like weed. But I digress.
I'm really not quite sure where his
money goes, he can blow $300 on
absolutely nothing in mere hours. He
used to have a gas card, like I do
currently, that our mother covered.
I'm not complaining, I really
appreciate having one and I realize
that there is money involved here,
but our agreement is that as long as
I remain in college and keep my
grades up she is fine with it. Also,
unlike my brother, I don't go to a
gas station daily and pile
cigarettes and other snacks and
leave my mother with the bill. I
pump the gas and put it on the card,
but I pay for my junk food with my
own money. Whereas my monthly bills
come in around $50-$60, my brother
would consistently max the thing out
well before a bill arrived. Our
mother theorized that he was buying
cigarettes with the card for his
friends and getting the money back
for them, effectively turning a
profit on her back. When confronted
with this accusation he did not
admit to it, though nor did he deny
it. So he
doesn't have one anymore (though he
has "borrowed" mine a couple of
times and managed to do the exact
same thing with it, so I have to
hide it from him now), something
which obviously is a great
injustice.
Naturally you now see why he is
driven to, nay, justified,
into acting like a shaved ape on
steroids.
And I did mention to my father,
without jest and in all seriousness,
that we need to find a new place for
him to put his guns.
Lastly, and on a totally unrelated
note, I'm going to leave you with a
question:
Today I had my Cultural Diversity in
the Media class, which is taught by
a young wheelchair-bound black man,
Shawn. Because this was the second
week, we had a few new additions to
the already crammed class, so seats
are starting to become scarce. Every
classroom has the one large, cushy
chair for instructors, I'm sure you
know what I'm talking about. Shortly
before class was about to begin, the
last student entered, and searched
for a chair. Shawn pointed one out
in the corner of the room. She
acknowledged it and then joked,
referring to the large, cushy chair,
"Well, I could use your chair." To
which Shawn replied (I'm unsure if
he was being serious, which is where
the problem lies), "Yeah, sure, I'm
not using it."
I really, really wanted to laugh
(and sort of did, albeit quietly).
Does this make me a bad person?
-K.
subtly
resembled a special needs child
trapped in his Halloween costume
9-01-04,
9:57 PM
If
you're not going to kill me... I
have things to do.
Music:
Raymond Scott - Don't Beat Your Wife
Every Night!
New month, old news in the
archives, there was one late post
you may have missed.
LAN party this Saturday.
Hopefully.
avatarofawesome (9:40:19 PM):
post on your site, tell peeps to
rsvp on the tagboard, i can see what
i can do here
Do as the man says.
-K.
eat the
cheeseburger, astro boy |
