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3-31-04,
10:06 PM
Don't
you see it, that's all I've gotta
do. Just sit on my ass.
Music: David Gray - Please Forgive
Me
Alright, so I opened a new section
where you'll find the Seinfeld
script. Enjoy.
Anyway,
yes. Suggestions for thirty minute
programs to write for, please.
-K.
peanut butter, eggs and dice.
3-31-04,
5:48 AM
I'm
drowning here, and you're describing
the water!
Music: Ben Folds - In Between Days
Just
wanted to pop on here really quick
to say that on Monday I had my
Scriptwriting class and my
Seinfeld script seemed to go
over okay, despite what I think of
it (To give you a hint, I titled it
"The Worst Show Ever"). I'll post it
here when I wake up. Anyway, our
instructor asked to hear what we had
in mind for our next television
script and since he and no one else
in my class is familiar with
Clerks: The Animated Series and
it must be a thirty minute
program I'm going to need
suggestions again, and fast, since I
need to let him know what I'm doing
by the end of the week (Family
Guy, Futurama, and The
Simpsons have been taken).
Pandora Tomorrow remains fresh
and addictive and it encompasses
most of my time. I am running out of
formidable opponents. Now I need to
get some sleep.
-K.
booze is good food
3-28-04,
3:22 PM
It takes
a big man to admit when he's wrong.
I am not a big man.
Music: Charles Mingus - Moanin'
Lacey,
you may ignore this post as well.
Okay,
so, Pandora Tomorrow.
I've spent many hours with it the
couple days and it's truly amazing.
Taking on either the role of spy or
mercenary, the task is equally
difficult for both sides. The spy
has so many different ways to evade,
hide, incapacitate, trick, delay or
eliminate their opposition, but it
has to be done with a certain kind
of patience and precision in which
one mistake could spell your death.
The mercenary has to remain on his
toes at all times, because the spies
can literally come into most areas
from all directions. Detecting a spy
is just as difficult as laying
effective traps, which is very
important, because the mercs have a
very large area to cover and defend.
Finally, an action game where
playing smart and using your wits is
vital. The spy has all the tools and
abilities to neutralize whatever
defenses the mercs set up, it's just
a matter of using them appropriately
and choosing the right time to move.
The Spy Bullet is a favorite gadget
of mine, it's a projectile fired
from your gun that does no damage,
but if it hits a merc he will appear
on your radar so you can track him,
and he isn't aware that he's been
tagged. This also allows you to
listen into the other team's
conversations if they have mics, but
I have yet to run into such an
opportunity. The mercs can also lay
similar Spy Traps, which are small
devices attached to walls that emit
an infrared beam that, if tripped,
put the spy onto the merc's radar.
The mercs also get Wall Mines that
come in both proximity and infrared
laser flavors, and there's nothing
more satisfying than getting a kill
from the other side of the map with
one.
Things can get particularly tense
that you may open fire on your
teammate just because he's something
that moves. More often than not,
playing as a merc, I'm on the
receiving end of the gunfire. Out of
the past couple days I have only
fired at my teammate once, with a
single bullet, which missed.
As a spy, though, I shine. I like to
sneak around in most games enough as
it is and I don't mean to boast, but
I'm a diamond, I'm in my fucking
element. Perhaps all this rambling
would be best summed up in an
experience:
We were playing the Mount Hospital
level, which is a, you guessed it,
hospital that is under construction.
The goal of the game is to
decontaminate at least three
containers of a mystery substance
called "ND133," which are located in
stationary positions all around the
map. My partner and I had already
taken care of two, I was facing
another, hiding in a dark space in a
very well-lit room. The only exits
are on one side of the room and both
have infrared sensors on them (Which
I disabled earlier with a chaff
grenade, but they come back online
after a while). There's a merc
hovering around the room, and since
the decontamination process takes
quite a while there's no chance I
could take it without getting a
severe case of lead poisoning. I ask
my partner to come down and distract
him, but a few minutes later he gets
killed, using his final life. I
wait, hoping the merc would leave.
He doesn't, in fact he starts
shooting flares into the room and
setting up Wall Mines, placing one
right next to the ND133 I need to
get to. Fortunately he doesn't shoot
any flares into the one area of the
room I was hiding at. With time
rolling down I know I'd better make
my move soon, when the merc steps in
front of the ND133 to check his
mine, that's when I pull out my gun
and shoot him. The spies bullets
only stun the merc with an
electrical charge for a few seconds,
so while he's busy having several
thousand volts charged through him
and I shift my aim over to the mine
to disarm it. I hadn't planned on it
working out that way, but I shot the
mine to "disarm" it and the
resulting explosion sent my nearby
opponent hurtling into the air and
slamming into a wall, killing him
with his own trap. Now that was fun.
-K.
the ubiquitous Mr. Lando
3-26-04,
12:15 PM
He isn't
gonna shoot me, then he hadn't
oughta point a gun at me. It's
insincere.
Music:
Ben Folds - The Ascent of Stan
I just
wanted to pop on quickly to say that
Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow
may be one of the most engaging,
tense, and addictive multiplayer
games ever made. I played it for
almost six hours last night. I
actually bought it, as in paid
money for it, so that should say
something about its quality. I'll
elaborate further on it later, so
this isn't a "real" update.
There's
a
multiplayer
demo out if you want to
try it, but it's pretty buggy. We
have to play this at the next LAN,
three mercs on one spy, it'll be
glorious.
-K.
out of the shadows
3-19-04,
9:39 AM
Ranger
Brad, I'm a scientist, I don't
believe in anything.
Music: Fatboy Slim - Weapon of
Choice
I'm not
going to say much in this update,
I'm working on a couple of reviews
for my film appreciation class, I
just want to acknowledge that I
haven't made one in a while for
which I apologize. I've actually
been pretty busy lately, in so far
as actually getting back to seeing
movies and playing new games,
not as in doing my homework, despite
what I may have just said above.
Anyway, I'm going to see one or two
more movies tonight (The Triplets
of Bellville and Eternal
Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)
to go alongside the other three I've
seen recently that I want to post my
impressions of (Club Dread,
Spartan, and The Lost
Skeleton of Cadavra). The
single-player demo of Splinter
Cell: Pandora Tomorrow is also
out there with the multi-player demo
to follow soon, so I want to talk
about that, as well.
P.S. I
hope you realize that by posting
what I'm listening to that means
that you have to go find and
download those songs. It's required,
and those who do not are punished by
death. Sorry, it's not my rule, I
just enforce it.
UPDATE: Actually, I'm going
to need help from some of you. My
instructor wants us to have at least
half of our scripts done by Monday.
I'm doing Seinfeld and I
already have things worked out with
Kramer (One of the storylines we had
to include was Kramer getting
engaged, so I worked it into Kramer
sending off for a mail-order bride
and accidentally getting a
mail-order husband instead), Elaine
(Things happen with Kramer's
mail-order husband), and George
(Stuck in an elevator with a woman,
tries to make at a pass at her,
nothing works, get neurotic, later
finds out she's deaf), but I have no
clue what to do with Jerry.
Suggestions, now!
-K.
science!
03-05-04, 6:08 PM
Hokey religions and ancient weapons
are no match for a good blaster at
your side, kid.
Music: Pearl Jam - Breakerfall
So,
this post is going to be entirely
dedicated to video games. That means
you can probably just skip this one,
Lacey.
Hot on
the heels of their cancellation of
Full Throttle 2, LucasArts
has decided to also
cancel
Sam & Max 2
simply because they are the most
spineless company in the game
industry today. As stated in
an e-mail from
creator Steve Purcell,
the game wasn't cancelled because of
slow development or other problems
therein, it was cancelled because
someone high up decided adventure
games aren't worth making. What
games are worth making then? Let's
take a look at some made in the last
four years (Developed by LucasArts,
not just published):
Star
Wars: Bounty Hunter: Shit.
Star Wars: Galactic Battlegrounds:
Terrible.
Star Wars: Jedi Starfighter:
Pushing the boundaries of
mediocrity.
Star Wars: Obi-Wan: Games are
supposed to be fun, right?
Star Wars: Episode I: Battle for
Naboo: Complete shit.
Star Wars: Force Commander:
Dreadful.
Star Wars: Starfighter: Can I
play Wing Commander instead?
Star Wars: Super Bombad Racing:
It's like Mario Kart only
without the fun.
Star Wars: Episode I: Jedi Power
Battles: Can I use Force Choke
on myself?
Star Wars: Episode I: Racer:
When you get down to it, the racing
was the most important part of the
series, right?
Jesus,
and I used to think Electronic Arts
was the king of milking a franchise
for everything it was worth. I miss
the old LucasArts, the one that
actually tried to make a
decent game, not like now where if
they make a game it's only
incidental that it's above average.
The only thing we can do now as
gamers is
sign this
petition and send an
e-mail to
pr@lucasarts.com. In
the meantime, fuck LucasArts.
Anyway, I've also got my hands on
the new 007 game Everything or
Nothing and I'm surprised that
it's actually very good. Probably
the best James Bond game since
Goldeneye which really set the
standard. The new third-person
perspective made me a little wary,
since the console version of
Tomorrow Never Dies wasn't
exactly stellar. There's a mix of
driving sequences in the game that
are moderately fun, but the action
sequences are where it's at. It
plays like a cross between Syphon
Filter with the whole lock-on
system and kill.switch
with its use of cover in a
firefight. The "Bond Sense" is a
neat addition, which makes
everything go in super slow-motion,
allowing you to survey your
surroundings and highlight important
things like enemies, ledges you can
rappel up to, and things that you
can make go boom. It's got some very
impressive production values, like
getting the actual cast to reprise
their roles for the game which
hasn't happened in a previous Bond
game. Pierce Brosnan is Bond, Judi
Dench is M, even John Cleese tags
along to play Q. Add in other star
power like Willem Dafoe as the
villain Nikolai Diavolo
(Turns out he's the protégé of Max
Zorin from A View to a Kill)
and
Shannon Elizabeth as the new Bond
girl. Heidi Klum is in it as well,
doing a very good job of showing
everyone why she's not an actress.
The co-op multiplayer is fantastic,
but I want one of you to get a PS2,
the online adapter, and a copy of
Everything or Nothing so we can
play co-op online. Playing with
people I don't know tends to lead to
me getting shot by my partner,
making for very short, frustrating
games. I could use my USB headset to
communicate with my partner, but
voice chat online usually means
hearing someone shout "I like beef
jerky."
Speaking of multiplayer, have you
seen these
two
videos
showing off the online play in
Splinter Cell: Pandora Tomorrow?
I can't wait for the PC version to
come out. Even though it only
supports two-on-two matches, it
could make for an interesting LAN
game.
Lastly,
find and play Silent Storm if
you haven't yet. That is all.
-K.
and look out on the corner of 14th
and L because I just dropped my
bagel
03-04-04, 8:52 AM
A
minute ago this was the safest job
in the world. Now it's turning into
a bad day in Bosnia.
Music: Guster - Amsterdam
Getting to know your cynic:
-I
hate basketball.
-I
don't hate, but dislike, soccer.
-I
think the hockey fan in me died in a
terrible Skee-Ball accident several
years ago.
-Michael Bay and Kevin Costner
should be arrested for crimes
against truth and beauty.
-Cereal
can be substituted for any meal.
-Seeing
and enjoying the manipulative
drivel-fest that is Radio (aka
Forrest Gump 2: Bubba Strikes
Back) makes you a bad person.
-Ditto
for I Am Sam. -Billy
Crystal and Robin Williams are not,
never were, and never will be funny.
-The same goes for the entire cast
of MadTV. -I used to comb
my hair like Richie Cunningham from
Happy Days, wear big glasses,
and was way too into Doctor Who.
-I have a song by Billy Idol in my
MP3 directory for which I am
ashamed. -I am the only person who
has no idea who the hell Dead Can
Dance are. -As well as Poison The
Well. -I once did voice acting as
Solid Snake for a Metal Gear
mod for Duke Nukem 3D that
went nowhere. -I was originally
supposed to voice acting as Barney
for the Half-Life
single-player mod Redemption.
After receiving the script I waited
for weeks without doing anything. By
the time I got around to it they
picked up someone else. The mod was
later put on the stand-alone
Counter-Strike pack and I missed
out on making three cents per copy
sold. -I once spent an entire
weekend writing a design document
for a survival horror Half-Life
mod that never got anywhere.
-I honestly haven't done any work
with the interactive fiction stuff
for weeks. -I hated The Big
Lebowski. -After another
viewing I have come to realize
Darren
Aronofsky's Pi
is overrated. -This whole
stream-of-consciousness thing is
going to end now because I really
need to sleep. -K.
no amount of fresh
waffles and maple syrup could deter
him from his true destiny |
