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1-29-05,
11:32 PM
Let me
do the talking, angel. I don't know
yet what I'm going to tell them.
It'll be pretty close to the truth.
 Music:
Matt Dusk - Two Shots of Happy, One
Shot of Sad
For
some reason my father believes I'm a
muscle car enthusiast. I have no
clue where he got this idea, since I
have never expressed an interest nor
spoken to him on the subject, though
that does not stop him from calling
from work to tell me about an
auction or sale or show he's learned
about. I once told him I really
wanted a DeLorean, but that's about
it.
I really need to get a job, because
at some point the arguments we have
will escalate into deep resentment
of each other, and he's going to
notice that I only leave the house
two days out of the week. The data
entry job fell through, since they
recently laid a bunch of people off
and aren't looking to hire anybody
for quite some time. I have put
applications in at various
businesses across town, but for
reasons unknown I am perpetually
unhireable. This free time allows me
to do quite a number of useless
things, like make my own lemonade,
which I've been doing all week. It's
delicious.
This also gives me a lot of time to
play the video games I may have
missed during last semester. Ever
since I put that damn hard drive
into my PS2 I've had a hard time
picking with one game and sticking
with it, and they're mostly action
games. I've had to come back to my
PC and play Jagged Alliance 2
to get the tactical side of my brain
working again, to balance my gaming
humors. One of the games I've been
playing on and off for the past
couple weeks has been
Mercenaries: Playground of
Destruction and if you've been
seeing the commercials for it, it
lives up to what it promises: The
ability to blow stuff up. A lot of
stuff. The game puts you in the
boots of a mercenary sent out to
take care of a little business after
a violent coup takes place in North
Korea. Taking a cue from a different
recent conflict, there's a group of
52 different targets that need to be
taken down, all labeled with their
own corresponding playing card. Your
ultimate goal is take down the
leader of coup, President Song, but
along the way you'll take up
missions from the different factions
that have made a presence in the
area: The Allies, the Chinese, the
South Koreans, and the Russian
mafia. You'll get paid for carrying
out contracts for them, but the real
fun comes in when you play the
different factions off of each
other, making it into an even more
bloody mess. As it would be
expected, money plays a fairly large
factor in the game, as you collect
bounties on the different Deck of 52
members, as well as completing
contracts and other sorts of
side-missions and mini-games across
the country. The money, in turn,
finances your weapon supplies, air
strikes, vehicles, artillery
barrages, and other sorts of fun
things that make people dead. At
first glance, the game is simply a
militaristic Grand Theft Auto
clone, but when you dig a little
deeper, you'll find a very fun and
unique action experience. Depending
on which character you choose and
how you decide to play, you can go
guns blazing into the middle of an
enemy camp, bombard it air strikes,
disguise yourself in an enemy
vehicle, or try to play the stealthy
route, adding an element of strategy
that's missing in most action
titles. It's not game of the year
material, but it's very good, and a
perfect example of why blowing
things up will never stop being fun.
Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater,
on the other hand, is far less
straight-forward, and has only
indicated that Hideo Kojima is even
further out of his tiny fucking
mind. I'm all for surreal
characters, but I don't think a guy
who can control hornets and shoot
"bullet bees" belongs in a tale of
Cold War espionage. You'd expect
improvement in even the most basic
things in a sequel, but I guess in
adding the Close-Quarters Battle
system they completely forgot about
the camera system that was broken
even in MGS2. Taking the
series out of the cramped corridors
and into the jungle should have
called for an obvious improvement
here, especially since they have
stripped you of the radar, because
it's not fun to have to switch to
first-person mode every ten seconds
because you want to make sure there
isn't a soldier around. He stated in
a recent interview that an
over-the-shoulder camera would've
been a better idea, and that's
easily the best idea he's had in the
last decade, so it's appropriate it
should be absent from the game. I
continue to play it because I want
to know where the story is going,
and the core stealth gameplay still
hasn't been screwed up entirely to
where it's unplayable, but sometimes
it's just too ridiculous to stomach.
There's a boss fight where you do
battle with
a geriatric in a wheelchair who can
choose when to live and is capable
of photosynthesis.
I'm going to repeat that, because I
think it's a sentence that bears
repeating: I had to fight a
geriatric in a wheelchair who can
choose when to live and is capable
of photosynthesis.
There's a mini-game where you have
to capture the monkeys from Ape
Escape. The character who you
call on the radio to save your game
can't stop talking about why Japan
is great, despite having never been
there. And in the beginning, Snake
refers to his commander as Major
Tom. Camouflage plays a big part of
the game, and there are different
sets of camo and face paint you
collect through out the game, and I
recently found the female Kabuki
dancer face paint. For some reason I
don't think I'm going to find it
very useful.
I can only hope Hideo means it this
time that this is the last game in
the series he's going to have a
major part of.
I plan on trying to put together
a 2004 Game of the Year list at some
point, but I feel like I keep
forgetting some deserving games.
-K.
like a
hammer to my head
1-27-05,
2:46 PM
Do I
laugh now, or wait 'til it gets
funny?
 Music:
Amon Tobin - Ruthless
Alright, got a heads-up from the guy
that there won't be any PC software
available at this warehouse sale,
and that I'd be better off trying
next month. As far as what stuff
will be there, he tells me
"basically anything from Circuit
City." So this does include console
titles as well, but it's not as
cheap as the PC stuff. Monitors,
video cards and other hardware
should be there next time, as well,
but I'm also fuzzy on what those
prices will be.
So,
yeah, I'm not going this Saturday.
Got
into an argument with my father the
other day, but rather than repeat
the whole thing I'll just give you
one quote from him and that should
be all you need: "Fags want to have
the same rights as normal people and
that's bullshit. That's just my
opinion, but it happens to be the
majority."
-K.
i won't
touch it
1-24-05,
4:33 PM
Relax
Harry, I've got an angle.
Music:
E.S. Posthumus - Ebla
and
then she said, "I know, but watch
out where you sit down!" Oh man,
that was gold, I about knocked over
the table right there.
So,
anyway, I was told that reading my
site was like jumping into the
middle of a book, which is a
criticism I don't quite understand
being that this is fairly journal-esque
and doesn't really have an on-going
narrative populated with characters.
It's a website, I don't think I'm
confusing anybody here. But then I
thought I should live up to that
comment, so I think from now on I'm
going to start writing just the
middle of my updates, I think it'll
be an interesting
-K.
wuh
1-22-05,
5:21 PM
Who told
you your incompetent little fingers
had the requisite skills to edit me?
Music:
Weezer - Dope Nose
So, how would you like to get all
those goods for a dollar a pop?
Well, if my information's correct
and you're willing to join me on a
road trip to a warehouse sale in Chicago next weekend,
let me know.
The doors open at 8AM, Saturday
the 29th and I've been advised I
should show up at least two hours
ahead of time to get in line since
all the good stuff is gone by noon.
So that means I'd be leaving St.
Louis around one or two in the
morning. We're not talking just
games, hardware is available as
well, including refurbished 19" CRT
monitors for $30. I'm going, and I
know there's a good chance a big
chunk of what I get is heading for
eBay...
-K.
nerd cartel
1-21-05,
7:13 PM
Let 'em
riot. We're Sonic-fuckin'-Death
Monkey.
Music:
Ennio Morricone - The Ecstasy of
Gold
Just
wanted to pop on here really quick
before I shuffle off to bed and
point all of you in the direction of
this
demo.
This game, Darwinia, is quite
a unique combination of real-time
strategy and action, and only takes
a little time to pick up. It's an
indie game, so it's a little rough
around the edges, and lacks a
thorough tutorial, but if you stick
with it, and you should, it only
takes a couple minutes to learn and
becomes very addictive. It's small
(10MB) and doesn't require a lot of
power to run, so you don't have an
excuse not to play it. (And if you
don't have a FileShack account just
go ahead and register, it's free and
they don't send you any third party
e-mails)
The guys behind this made the also
incredible addictive and simple
"hacking sim"
Uplink,
though after a few hours it did
start to lose it's flavor. Both of
these are very much worth your
attention.
-K.
break the furnace
1-19-05, 1:58 AM
Cops and
women don't mix. It's like eating a
spoonful of Drano, sure it'll clean
you out, but it'll leave you hollow
inside.
Music:
Iggy Pop - Neighborhood Threat
I
was told I needed to post today or
face the risk of ocular damage.
Can't have that.
I
haven't been up to a hell of a whole
lot these last couple weeks, some of
you were actually there for most of
that period so you can attest to the
veracity of that statement. I'm not
prepared to call Holiday Holocaust
2K4 a failure, though I don't think
we can call it much of a success,
either. Looking back, I found the
point where most of us started to
break down and get irritable (Or
maybe it was just me) while playing
Weekend Warriors to be rather funny.
It's not like when video games drag
on for much too long and I can fall
asleep in my chair without
retribution, whenever I come around
it's still my turn and nothing has
changed, which has actually happened
more than a few times.
My
sleeping pattern and video games are
the few things I have to report,
really. I've gone back to being
nocturnal, sleeping today right
after I got home from class from
noon to 10PM. My Writing Screenplays
for Film class is all I'm going to
have until late March, so I don't
see this trend changing any time
soon. The instructor has the voice
of Phillip Seymour Hoffman combined
with the looks of a man who likes to
lure small children into his van
with the promise of delicious candy,
and the quirks and mannerisms of
Nicolas Cage's character from
Adaptation, though I'll try not
to hold that against him. I do get
the impression he hates movies,
which is strange. The class seems
interesting enough, hopefully during
the course of it nobody will figure
out I don't know what the hell I'm
doing.
As
far as games go, I've been splitting
my time between Metal Gear Solid
3, Mercenaries, Second
Sight, Tiger Woods PGA Tour
2005, and the very Japanese
Gunslinger Girl. I'll try to
elaborate on these titles at a later
date.
My
family continues to be a source
amusement and frustration. Some of
you were there when Blake kept
talking and rambling on about music
and performers I've never heard of
and their histories and strange
tales I couldn't care less about.
This type of thing happens almost
daily. Maybe I've got a diplomatic
nature not to stir up hostility,
meaning I've just got to sit there
and pretend interested. Though, even
if I don't feign interest he keeps
on talking, but if at any point I
directly tell him this it tends to
just make him scream and get angry.
He came into my room the other night
and all I had to do was take one
look at him to tell that he was,
naturally, baked. He rambled on from
topics like the relationship between
the two people from The White
Stripes, to guest hosts of MTV's
120 Minutes, to "cracking the
case" behind Tom Cruise's
homosexuality and failed marriage
with Nicole Kidman. None of these
topics had any particular segues or
gaps to define he was switching to a
different subject, he just kept
fucking talking to the point
where it just sort of became a
background noise that you don't
particularly notice unless you
really focus your attention on it. I
think my major mistake in allowing
this to continue was saying things
like "Hmm," "Uh-huh," "That's
great," and a number of other noises
that I deliberately tried to make it
sound like I didn't care, though
that didn't seem to get through. I
knew I was in big trouble when he
sat down on my bed and just kept
fucking going, and nothing was
stopping him, not even the negative
energy I was hoping to generate by
turning away to face the monitor and
rub my eyes while mouthing the words
"Jesus Christ, get to the fucking
point," or "I really just want you
to shut up and leave."
My father also called earlier in the
evening, around 11PM, and I was the
only one awake. My mom had already
gone to sleep, and he had meant to
speak to her, but instead relayed
his message to me. He told me he was
talking to my mother earlier and got
the "Jimmy Buffet philosophy wrong"
and that he meant to illustrate his
point by saying "Jimmy once said "I
want to live life like I'm alive,
not like I'm dead" or some such
silly shit, and then explained the
message to me in detail, and telling
me how profound it was. Yes,
whenever you sit back and reflect on
the great thinkers of the human race,
please take a second to consider the
misunderstood man who once
proclaimed that, indeed, you could
have a cheeseburger in paradise and
felt so strongly enough about that
message he deemed it important
enough to shape a complete lifestyle
around it.
I'd
love to stay and chat, but I'm going
to take a shower and try to get the
shame off.
-K.
this time it's personal |
